


Comets

by Avid_Aviator



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Obi-Wan Kenobi, Asexual Relationship, Communication, F/M, Gen, I don't know if this qualifies as, Long-Distance Relationship, Maybe - Freeform, Or not, Platonic Soulmates, Romance, because that's all I can write apparently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 12:41:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12190194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avid_Aviator/pseuds/Avid_Aviator
Summary: Obi-Wan and Satine sit down to have a conversation that is years overdue.





	Comets

Many Mandalorians thought their Duchess had fallen for a Jedi; these Mandalorians would be right. Some of them were even old enough to remember how it started. The civil war had ended years ago, although the tensions it had brought still lingered. Those who had been on the Duchess's side remembered two gangly teens running about and arguing more often than not. A few of them even recalled the way those arguments were never more than friendly teasing hidden in heated philosophical debates.

Many Jedi thought a certain Master among them was in love with a Mandalorian Duchess. These Jedi would be (for the most part) wrong. Oh, Obi-Wan loved Satine, truly. Just not the way everyone (even his own padawan) expected. He had suspicions that perhaps it was his own master who had started everything. Two teens in hiding during a civil war was apparently a romantic and fantastical beginning to a relationship. The Jedi were not above gossip it seemed. The story was passed around enough that by the time he returned to Mandalore many years later his own padawan insisted on playing matchmaker.

 

Which brought them here. To dinner. At the finest restaurant in Sundari. Satine was under the impression it was a date. She had confessed that she loved Obi-Wan too, and would he like to accompany her home?

Obi-Wan… Obi-Wan really wished this conversation wasn't happening. Especially not with Satine. It was an old script and it always went the same way… Always went badly. Even so, he didn't want it to end. For a moment, he simply looked at her; as if it would be the last time. If it is a last time, it isn't so bad, really. He notes the soft lights glinting off her golden hair as they sit alone at their table. The ambient sounds of music and other diners have faded completely from his ears. She is all that is left, now. He decides then that if it has to end, there are worse ways.

"Satine... I am... honored, truly," Obi-Wan began haltingly, pausing to think of how best to phrase it. "I hold you very dearly in my thoughts, but I can't give you the kind of relationship you want."

He cringes inwardly when a spark of anger flashed past her eyes.

"Is this about the Jedi Code? You said-"

"No, no it's not the Code. It's... it's just me." He quickly interjects, picking at the hem of his sleeves.

"I don't understand, Obi-Wan." Satine's voice wobbles and her brows furrow together, trying in vain to make sense of the conversation that they currently find themselves in.

"I'm not sure I do either." The Jedi gives her a small, sad smile "I just don't love people that way. And I do love you, I think. I just... I-I can't- I mean I don't know that.."

Hearing the usually eloquent man fumbling for words in such a manner must have driven Satine to speak over him, a surprise to them both. They tried very hard not to interrupt one another.

"Obi-Wan, why don't you tell me what you  _ do  _ know? That seems like it might be easier than searching for words to describe something you ‘can't’ or ‘don't’."

Obi-Wan stared at her with a frown as he tries to sort through his thoughts. She deserves the best explanation he can manage, but he honestly wasn't expecting her to ask questions. Most people aren’t patient enough to get this far. With faint reluctance, he clears his throat and tries to find the right words to describe it.

"When I first met you all I knew was that I had never met someone so  _ alive _ . Your presence took up so much space I thought I could touch it sometimes. And the way you believed in the peace movement with every fiber of your being in spite of the things we saw. Y-You inspired me. You showed me it was possible to live without revenge in a way I don't think  _ anyone _ else could have. At the time I didn't know how important that lesson would become for me, but it mattered all the same. I would spend days on Coruscant wishing I could speak with you again, wondering what your opinion would be on my philosophy lessons. I wanted to see you again, although I didn't quite know why.” He pauses, taking a breath before beginning again.

“  My-my Master thought I was in love with you and maybe he was right. Because I do love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes, but I didn't...I don't want the physicality that would come with a relationship like what you are asking for, and I’m unwilling to ask you to sacrifice those desires for me."

"Obi-Wan, I-I - "

"I'm sorry that I can't be what you want." They can both hear the regret tainting his voice.

"Don’t I get to say what  _ I  _ know about you?"

He watches her swallow harshly as if there is some unnameable emotion stuck there before nodding in acquiescence.

"You were my knight in shining armor during the civil war. I do admit that at first all I saw was your red hair and dimples; at first, that's all I wanted of you." Satine closes her eyes as if to pull the memory of those dimples to the front of her mind. She had not seen them in so long.

"I was too young to understand what was right in front of me, but the longer we were on the run, the longer we spent together, the more I realized that looks had nothing to do with who you were. That the things that made you special were not visible to the eye. When you went away, I waited for someone else to come along who had that fire inside them the way you did. What I didn't understand so long ago is that you are not a knight. You are my comet. Something special. Something not everybody gets to see or appreciate or understand. And I love you so much even if you are not, and never will be okay with me touching you."

And with that soft declaration, they fall silent, Satine's final words hanging between them. There is a suspicious dampness about their eyes and Obi-Wan feels quite like neither of them knows where to go from here.

"I'm sorry I ever made you feel as if your body was the only reason I wanted you." Satine apologized after a moment, unsure of what else to say.

"You didn't," Obi-Wan hastens to assure her, "I just didn't want to start something I couldn't finish. It's easier to cut off expectations at the beginning so you don't have to break them later."

"Still...I am sorry, and I hope you don't feel pressured by what I've said just now, but I would very much like to stay close friends at least." She tangles her fingers together in her lap.

"I would like that as well."

And he smiles; and for once, it is not forced or burdened. It just is.

And they just are.

 

They both have duties and while they now make concessions for each other, neither is willing to give up their duties entirely. Obi-Wan has a padawan to train and Satine has a planet to help. In the end, these things are more important than being together.

But that is okay.

They have holocalls and that is enough. Not every relationship needs to be physical or even to be physically present. Many don't understand it. Satine and Obi-Wan don't ask them to.

 

Not everything is made to be understood.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for the Aces in Space zine but it's been edited since then so...


End file.
